If you or your partner say any of these things, there could be trouble in paradise!
Are you sabotaging your relationship with toxic phrases? Maybe you’re throwing around words without realizing their impact. It’s time to replace these relationship wreckers with phrases that breathe life into love. Stick with me, friend, and let’s dive into the linguistic do’s and don’ts of love. 😍
Do’s and Don’ts
1. What not to say: “You Don’t Deserve Me”
Ah, the ego has landed! Phrases like “You don’t deserve me” or “You’re lucky to have me” are self-inflating balloons that’ll burst sooner or later. 🎈
What to Say Instead:
“I’m feeling undervalued right now. Can we talk about it?”
“I feel like we’re disconnected. How can we work on this?”
“I’m feeling a little overlooked. Is there something on your mind?”
2. What NOT to say: “Everything’s FINE!
Ah, the classic! Remember Ross? “Everything is fine” or “I’m okay” when you’re obviously not. These are landmines waiting to explode. 💥
What to Say Instead:
“I need some time to process my feelings. Let’s talk in a bit.”
“I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can we pause and talk later?”
“I’m not ready to discuss this yet. Can we circle back?”
3. What NOT to say, “You’re Pathetic” or Any Kind of Name-Calling
Whether it’s “You’re pathetic,” “You’re stupid,” or even “You’re such a loser,” name-calling never helped anyone grow. 🤬
What to Say Instead:
“What you did bothered me because it felt disrespectful.”
“That really hurt my feelings. Can we discuss it?”
“I didn’t like how you handled that situation. It made me uncomfortable.”
4. What NOT to say, “I Hate You”
Anything resembling, “I hate you” to “I can’t stand you,” is like tossing emotional grenades into the relationship. 🚫
What to Say Instead:
“I’m really angry at this moment. Let’s talk when we’re calmer.”
“I’m feeling a lot of negative emotions. I need some space.”
“We’re both too heated right now. Let’s revisit this later.”
5. What NOT to say, “You’re a Bad Parent”
Whether it’s “You’re a bad parent” or “You never put the kids first,” these attacks undermine the very foundation of family. 🏠
What to Say Instead:
“I felt triggered by your parenting style. Maybe it relates to something from my past.”
“I disagree with how you handled that with the kids. Can we talk about it?”
“I’m concerned about the message we’re sending to the kids. Let’s discuss.”
6. What NOT to say, “You’re over-reacting!”
Other examples are: You’re crazy,” ” or “That never happened.” Yep, that’s gaslighting 101. 🙅♀️
What to Say Instead:
“I disagree, but let’s find a way to understand each other better.”
“Our memories of the situation seem to differ. Can we figure this out?”
“I didn’t see it that way, but I’m listening. What’s your perspective?”
7. What NOT to say: “I’m leaving!”
Whether it’s “I’m out of here” or “I want a divorce,” these are loaded cannons that can’t be unheard. 🙉
What to Say Instead:
“I’m really upset. I’ll be back, but we need a serious talk.”
“We’ve hit a roadblock, and I think we need to reassess our relationship.”
“I’m questioning our future together. Let’s have a heart-to-heart.”
The Power of Constructive Communication
Switching from toxic to constructive language isn’t just semantics; it’s a shift in your emotional posture. Reach into the toolbox of love and pick the right phrase for the job! 🛠️
If you are still reading, this is your call to action! Make your relationship a safe space for real talk by diving deeper with the Heart Academy. Let’s speak love into existence, shall we? 💞
Love,
Carol